Heart: Social & Emotional Health

“Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.”

-Harriet Lerner, Ph. D.

“Self-talk reflects the innermost feelings.”

-Dr. Asa Brown

Social and emotional health in relation to wholeness is like an egg to cake batter. With no egg, the cake will be dry, lack flavor, moisture and may be coarser.

Emotional wellness is the egg that adds moisture to life. Emotions are the expression of a person’s “flavor” or personality. When people experience your emotions they experience you-they experience what’s in your heart.

One goal of wholeness should be to maintain a stable emotional expression meaning you show the appropriate emotion within the appropriate manner in any given situation. Healthy emotional expression is having a healthy heart because your heart reflects your perception of yourself and others.

A common behavior of people who’ve been emotionally hurt is to become withdrawn or isolate. Isolation and withdrawal are the culprits to health. They remove people from social support which encourages healing.

Someone once said, “It is in relationships that people experience hurt and it is in relationships that they experience healing.” Therefore, never write off the need for healthy positive social relationships because of a negative relationship experience.

All humans share basic needs for growth and development; to feel fulfilled in what they do and who they love. This need is fulfilled through socially healthy relationships.

Social health is your ability to create meaningful, positive relationships expressed through like-minded goals, respect, love, kindness and care while receiving the same in return.

Abraham Maslow (1908-1970) was an American psychologist who theorized that human motivation was influenced by the need to fulfill basic intrinsic needs he called the ”hierarchy of needs.”

Maslow stated that people are motivated to reach their level of “self-actualization” or fulfillment (top level on the pyramid) once they meet the bottom level needs beginning with psychological needs. He once hypothesized that people do not move from one stage to the next until the needs of the proceeding level are met. However, overtime Maslow changed this thinking to state that people’s basic needs are overlapping-people will move back and forth throughout their life attempting to fulfill these needs.

To live a life of wholeness you must have meaningful, positive relationships that are absent of abuse, manipulation, and neglect. And you too should be emotionally stable to offer the same positive experience to others during their encounter with you.

Coming soon to the bookstore will be unique stories from people like you who share their experience with pain and triumph in relationships and their advice on building your social and emotional health.

Remember, what good is success if you have no one to share it with?